we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
