just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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