We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
