Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
