New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
sex in a hospital.. check
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
