I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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