Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
