I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
