Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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