Are we in a gay sports bar?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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