We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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