Don't make out with my wife yet
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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