I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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