Quick, to the slutcave!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
