i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
