Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
