I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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