Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
