I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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