i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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