We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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