I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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