you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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