I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
