found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
