I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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