...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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