It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
