Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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