I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
