Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize