The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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