She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
