I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
