thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
