you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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