You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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