I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
