Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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