In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
