He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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