What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
