Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
