She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
