Don't make out with my wife yet
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
