there's paper in my vomit.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
