That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
