Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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