do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
