my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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