He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
