how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
