By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
