He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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