wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
