It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
