i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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