I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
