Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
