So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We're too hungover to prance.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize