I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
