yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
