At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
