FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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