So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize