nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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