end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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