He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
