your thong is hanging out like whoa
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
