xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
