i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
