Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
