I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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