Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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