We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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