I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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